With their Five Whys, Toyota made asking “why?” the go-to root cause analysis technique.
Author Simon Sinek got famous for telling leaders to “Start with Why.”
And 3-year-olds everywhere know instinctively that asking “why?” is the best way to put off having to follow their parents’ directions.
Three year olds aside, we know that understanding the why behind your work makes the work both more motivating and more likely to solve the actual problem.
So, when you’re asked to do a task, build a feature, or take on an initiative, asking “why?” feels like the right move. You want to understand the rationale behind the request. You want to get at the underlying problem. You want to ensure you implement a solution that’s going to work.
That instinct is good. But the question—why?—has a big problem.
Too often, “why?” provokes defensiveness. It feels like a challenge rather than curiosity. Which can lead to unhelpful answers: “Why? Because it’s important. That’s why.”
To avoid triggering defensiveness, try asking why without using the word why. Here’s how…
Instead of a why question, use a what or how question instead.
For example, when a key customer asks for a new feature in your software, and you want to know what’s behind the request, try saying something like:
“Oh, that’s interesting. Last time you wished you had that feature, what were you doing?”
or
“Oh, interesting. If you had that capability, how would you use it? What’s an example?”
or
“What would happen next for you if you had that feature?”
Notice how all of these communicate curiosity about the request rather than making the customer feel like they have to defend it. This opens up a conversation about the underlying need and, often, alternative ways to address it beyond the immediate request.
Over time, this creates a more collaborative relationship with your stakeholders, AND it makes it easier to find creative, focused ways to meet their needs. Because the solution they initially ask for may not be the best or cheapest way to solve the problem. Once you understand the underlying need, you can collaborate to find a better way to address it.
Want to go deeper on improving and more effectively managing stakeholder relationships? Join us for an upcoming product management workshop.
Last updated